Monday, December 19, 2011

Man Power!!

Hello friends!! I am in the most chipper mood EVER because I am FINALLY starting to feel like a normal human being again!!! It's such a nice change from the sloth-like creature I've been the last 6 months.  Last doctor's visit I told them I could not get over my nausea and vomiting - to the point that I wouldn't eat or drink anything because I didn't want to puke my guts up - then I'd end up throwing up bile all day.  So, they told me to switch my pills to the pm, which did absolutely nothing.  If anything it got worse! I would cry every morning I woke up feeling like poop again.  So, I finally came to my senses and asked Ammon to give me a blessing.  *if you're not into this religious stuff, skip on down :)*

I know, for me, I take the priesthood for granted.  I've been surrounded by men my whole life.  It's always been just me, my mom and the boys.  They've always been there whenever I've needed them to lift heavy stuff and do man things.  I think one down side to being the only girl is that I think I have to do everything myself.  I hate making people feel like they need to help me - I can do it myself, dang it!!  I guess it's only sister syndrome?  I hate feeling like the damsel in distress.  I was talking to Ammon the night before he had to go back to work about how depressed I was getting that I had 9 more weeks of pregnancy left.  I was almost in tears just talking about dealing with my symptoms for another 2 months.  I'm one of the least emotional people you'll ever meet - and Ammon had this look on his face like I was about to shatter. He gave me a hug and said "I'm so sorry I've been gone for all of this.  I wish you would let me help you."

It's a rough business having a husband that works out of the state 4-5 days a week.  Especially being pregnant with our first child! He's missed almost everything.  The first time I felt the baby move, the first time I could see him kicking from the outside.  He was gone when I found out the gender.  It's been rough!!  Ammon always knows EXACTLY what to say - it really is a gift.  He said "I wish you would let me help you" - and it hit me.  Why the heck haven't I asked him for a blessing yet?!

I've been reverting back to my only sister syndrome.  He's gone so much that I feel like I have to do everything alone.  And a lot of the time, I do.  So, I suppose it's a blessing and a curse.  But, I asked him for a blessing and he gave me one.  After he was done I couldn't believe that it hadn't even crossed my mind to ask ANY of the awesome men in my life for a blessing - I'm literally surrounded my them.  My dad is down the stairs, my bishop is across the backyard, my cousin Blair is a around the corner.  Why didn't this occur to me sooner that the answer to my problems was, once again, to give my issues to the Lord and let him handle it for me?

Going through infertility taught Ammon and me a lot.  It was the biggest learning experience I've ever had in my life - and my marriage.  The number one thing I walked away with from struggling with infertility was to trust in the Lord.  With all my crazy hormones and the feeling like "well, I'm alone, so I better deal with all of this alone" was making me shoulder out the two people who could help me the most.  My husband and my Heavenly Father.

So, long story not so short, I'm feeling a million times better.  I wake up feeling like I've actually rested.  I always wake up dying of thirst - but drinking water used to make me vomit my life away.  Now I can wake up, drink like 2 liters of water, eat some cereal and get on with my day.  I feel so much better.  I know that life is a long learning process.  In the last year I've learned so much about what the man upstairs can do for me.  He can literally take ALL my problems away, and all I have to do is ask.  I never understood humility until this week.  I'm a strong willed person.  Super stubborn.  Finally realizing all I had to do was ask - just suck it up, stop thinking I have to bear the world on only my shoulders, and ask for help.  It's been awesome.

So - that's my story this week :)  I've had quite the colorful year!  My next appointment is when I start getting checked every two weeks! So, expect another load of pictures and hopefully some good news about when our little guy is going to show up!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

7 months!!

I can't believe how fast the weeks are going by.  I kept thinking in my head - Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Shower, Baby.  I've only got two of those left!! I guess it's good that it feels like it's going fast - but it's almost coming too fast!!  I'm going to have a baby soon! AHHH!!! I can't wait - but I could a little bit longer ;)

Today at the doctor I took the infamous glucose test!  Gestational diabetes has been my biggest fear.  I don't know why - maybe all the crap I learned in school about diabetes has me permanently scared crapless about ever being diagnosed with it.  I don't know why everyone makes a big deal about it. I thought for sure it would be the most disgusting thing I'd ever ingest.  It wasn't bad at all.  It was actually kind of good :) haha.  I should find out soon if I have GD or not. Cross your fingers for me!

The past few weeks I've been feeling like the nausea wave washed over me and I have yet to resurface.  It was getting so bad that I would stay up all night tossing and turning, because I knew that when I woke up I'd feel like crap.  I would start to feel better around 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and sometimes I would throw up 3 or 4 times a day.  So, I quit eating like I usually would.  I stopped taking my prenatals in the morning (which helped a little bit).  I never wanted to eat or sleep or drink anything - because throwing up is freaking painful!!  I don't know why it hurts me so bad, but I start vomiting, my stomach is clenching so hard that I pee my pants, then I cry for like 10 minutes - then the rest of the day I feel horrible and just want to lay in bed.  So, after 22+ weeks of this nonsense, I talked to my Dr. about it and he came up with a new plan.  Pills at night.  Duh. haha I probably wouldn't have come up with that plan on my own - I'm a sucker for routines.  I've been taking prenatals for over 2 years - always in the morning.  I hate changing my routine! I'll do it happily for no more puking.  I'm down another 7 pounds, so something's got to change!

OH! On top of all of that :)  I had to get the RhoGAM shot.  I always thought I was AB+ for some reason? Turns out I am O- haha.  So is Ammon.  But, since he never got a physical before we started trying to get pregnant (which I highly recommend), there was no medical documentation of Ammon's blood type - so better safe than sorry = RhoGAM shot.   When I told my mom she started laughing and said "Really? Is it possible for you to get EVERYTHING wrong?"  Yes, mom.  It's me we're talking about :)

80 days until my due date!! It's coming so fast!!

woo! Big mama in the house :) NOW I look 7.5 months pregnant!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

6 months!

Our checkup this month was uneventful :) The weighed, I peed, they measured.  Hasta la vista baby!  I love my doctor's office for that reason!  When I show up 10 minutes early for an appointment, I usually am out the door before my appointment should officially start.  Anyways!! Here's some stuff about my pregnancy:  I still get sick... really. Let's move on, baby.  I get headaches now.  I got a really bad cold/cough right when my muscles started spreading - so with the coughing and spreading combination - my abs were killing me!!  So bad Ammon had to help me get out of bed like 4 days in a row - it made me feel super cool ;)  Our little guy kicks like there is no tomorrow!  He kicks so hard that if I have a blanket over my tummy - the blanket will pop up and float back down :) it's so much fun to see! Next time I get to take that lovely glucose test!  But I get to have an ultrasound so I'll take it! The house is coming along and we're hoping to be in before or just behind Christmas :D  We're so excited!!  Not much is going on :) we're just waiting.... waiting for the house, the baby, everything :)  We're both busier than usual - Ammon with work and the house and me with photography.  It's making the time FLY by!  I can't believe I only have 15 weeks left!  It's exciting!! Until next time, friends!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Half Way Babay!

I'm 20 weeks along and here's the juice.  I still get nauseous... I wish people would have never told me that "Oh, your nausea and vomiting will ease up around 12 weeks".  Yeah. Thanks a lot for that piece of wisdom.  Every bit of the 8 weeks past my 12 week mark when I would get nauseous or puke (for the millionth time)  made me so frustrated!! You better be worth it little baby ;) {if the sarcasm didn't translate, I know he'll be worth it 10X over}.

My belly popped out overnight it seems like.  No seriously.  I did a photoshoot on Sunday and the cute little mom told me there is no way on this earth you are 5 months pregnant.  Then, on my shoot on Tuesday, the cute girl asked me how far along I was.  When I said 5 months shes said "seriously?!".  It made me so happy :)  I felt him move for CERTAIN on Sunday!  Before that I couldn't really tell if it was him or not - by that I mean I couldn't tell if it was the baby moving or if the four tacos I ate for lunch were making their comeback in my intestines....  It was awesome to feel it!  And, finally having strangers ask when I'm due is AWESOME!!
yeah baby!! I don't even care that I look nothing short is 7.5 months pregnant :)

At our doctor's appointment we had our 20 week ultrasound!  The kinda scary one where they tell you if your baby was put together correctly.  I don't know why I was so apprehensive... because our little guy is completely perfect :)  He was moving like crazy!  I told Bobbi, my sonographer, that I'd only felt him for sure move twice, and she was shocked!  She said that when I do regularly feel him move, it will be nonstop all the time - because he is a wiggler!  He is definitely a boy :)  he didn't want to show us his cute face, but we got junk shots almost the whole time - we get it baby! You're a dude! 

We still haven't decided on a name.  I'm a planner.  I have to know everything in advance or I start to freak out a little bit.  Working on the house has calmed me down a ton, though.  I get nervous that we won't be able to decide on a name and the hospital will pick one for us! I know it doesn't work that way, but whatever.  Ammon doesn't like to plan things that aren't 100% concrete.  So, him knowing me so well, is probably thinking once we decide on a name I'll change my mind - which could totally happen, too :) So, I'm thinking we'll pick our top five names and have people vote on them at my baby shower and see how it goes :) 

I can't believe how quickly the time is flying by :)  Pretty soon he'll be here!  It's so exciting :D

Monday, September 19, 2011

snip, snip.

I have probably the longest hair of anyone you know, right?  Yeah, I know I'm right!  It's insanely long and I have a hair cutting phobia. *BACKSTORY* when I was 6, we lived in Iowa while my dad was in Dental school.  Chase (3 at the time) and I decided one day that my hair really was just way too long - and I need some bangs.  So we found my moms orange handled scissors and snipped away!  I was a pretty big diva when I was younger, so I strutted my little self out into the living room with my hands on my hips and said "What do you think of my new hair?" to my mom (who was pregnant with Zack).  She started bawling!!  Chase and I had cut off half of my hair at the scalp.  We had to cut it all! And what a hack job it was!  Check it out:
before! aww :) I had perfect hair for the 90's
AHHH!!!  So bad!  The boys in my first grade class called me Ross for the rest of the year!


Since I've been with child, my hair has gotten out of control!  Like really.  It's in a ponytail every single day because it's so heavy I get headaches.  I can't wait til baby comes so it will start shedding.  I had crazy thick hair to begin with - so this no shedding policy of pregnancy has not been so good to me.  Once I realized that I will probably NEVER do my hair again (and I mean it! The last time I straightened my hair was Christmas day 2010), and that I really only wanted long hair for my wedding - that was two and half years ago - my phobia seemed to disappear and BAM! Haircut!  Here is my before and after a LONG over due hair cut on the untameable mane.

my awesome cousin, KayDee! I think she's been dying to chop off my mop since I was a sophomore and she started hair school :)

I wanted to go a little bit shorter - but baby steps!  I'm still a little shell shocked - but I think I may love it!!  With my crazy long hair, I would use an entire palm full of shampoo and even more conditioner.  Maybe I'll save tons of money on hair product now :D  What do you think?  

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Big Reveal!

Hello friends!  Here's what's been going on lately!

We're still working strong on the house (and, as always, when I say "we" I mean Ammon).  I'm crossing all my fingers and toes that we can move in sometime in October or early November.  It's really coming along!  And speaking of, I have to tell you how amazing my husband is.  He works a full time job, out of town - in the worst town ever! - then comes home, is awesome to me and all my baby weirdness, AND goes and works another 40-50 hours a week on our house... All on his days off!!  Poor guy is stuck with a lazy schmuck like me for the next 4.5 months.  He is so awesome.

Baby Bradshaw is still making me sick.  I don't think one single day has gone by without me feeling iffy.  I'm almost always nauseous, and I still have morning sickness about once a week - over the lamest things ever, it's really starting to get on my nerves.  Foods I thought were safe, are all quickly defecting to the not-safe side.  All the foods I used to love are on my hate list - including cafe rio, pizza factory, olive garden, chocolate, any kind of cake, Dr. Pepper, and lemonade.  It's quite frustrating!  Oh, well.  It lets me know that our baby is still in there, pushing some secret button that makes all these really fun symptoms happen :)

Here are ten things I have learned whilst pregnant (feel free to skip to the last one, since I'm sure that's why you're all here :D):

1- I have a temper.  A pretty bad one!

2- I have too much hair.  WAY TOO MUCH.  It needs to start shedding asap.  I'm about three seconds away from chopping it off.

3- Speaking of hair - it's everywhere.  We find it in both of our cars, the new and old house, the fridge (?), one time I had one in my mouth and threw up a full days worth of food - that was a particularly fun day.

4- Ammon is obsessed with my belly.  It's still not that big - but he always wants to touch it.  I think that he thinks he'll be the one to feel the first movement - even though I've explained to him I will 100% feel it first, and he'll feel it a few weeks later. Still, it's so cute :)

5- I'm considering wearing maternity shirts full time - holy crap they are comfy!!

6- Oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruits.  I hate you.  I've stopped returning your phone calls.  Please get the hint that I don't want you!! I will go to every possible length to avoid you. You make me vomit!  (hee hee!!)

7- I thought I knew what heartburn was until I got pregnant.  Boy was I wrong!! I wake up with heartburn, go all day with heartburn, go to sleep with heartburn, wake up in the middle of the night because of heartburn.  It's oh so great :)  This baby better have a crap load of hair!

8- Ammon talks to our baby as if it's a boy, and so do I.  We didn't realize how much we want a boy until our last ultrasound :D

9- Boy names are incredibly hard to find and decide on!

10- Lucky for us, the name debate has just started! Because we're having a BOY! Surprised? Come on!! I'm a Frei and he's a Bradshaw - our baby didn't stand a chance!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

peace out first trimester

I went to the Doctor today! Hooray! I've been counting down to this doctor appointment because it means I'm in my second trimester :D I've been pretty lucky - only a few days of morning sickness, and my food aversions are easing up a little bit.  I've heard this is the best 3 months of pregnancy, so I'm hoping all the things that make me feel uncomfortable will go away for a while!  I've lost 23 pounds in my first three months.  But I heard the heartbeat on the Doppler (no ultrasound today :( ), and Dr. Ott says that is good thing - hearing the heartbeat on the Doppler means our baby is fully formed!!  So, I can quit having nightmares about miscarriages, please ;) I don't think it will be real to me until I know if it's a boy or a girl.  I still have a hard time believing there's an actual baby human in there.  I don't look any different since before I got pregnant (thanks to the gut I've been sporting for the past year ;D).

Dr. Ott is the BEST doctor ever.  I highly recommend and I wish I would have found him years ago.  He explains things so well to Ammon and me. I sneeze ALL the time.  I've never had allergies before - so I hardly ever sneeze.  Now I sneeze like 8 times an hour if not more and it HURTS!  My stomach gets all tight and painful.  It's a good time.  Dr. Ott says I have "the Progesterone Plague" - he seriously is the best, I love that guy!  That means every Awesome prego symptom caused my progesterone, this girl's had it :)  My boobs have tripled - yeah I said TRIPLED - in size in the last month, which have already given me some real cute stretch marks :) I have indigestion,  I burp all the time - it's real cute, headaches, nausea - I'm pretty much a pepto bismal commercial.  BUT - hopefully that will all ease up in the next few weeks and I can feel a little bit normal.  So, that's what's going on!!  He told me I won't be able to find out the gender until I'm 20 weeks - which bummed me out. but oh well!  I can't wait - we have a pretty good guessing game going on facebook, and apparently we're having a boy based on popular opinion.  So go cast your vote!  My dad told me he would be $100 that I'm having a girl... we'll see dad!  And you'll be forking up 100 big ones to this gal right here :D

Sunday, August 14, 2011

El Birthday Del Partay!

Ammon and I have both of our birthday's in August (mine the 6th, Ammon's the 22nd). So, after our first year of trying to fit in two celebrations within 2 weeks (we're not really party people, so that was a little too much for us!). Plus, the deer hunt is in August - when the world stops and birthdays don't matter - so combining our birthdays is the best way to get the fam together and have some fun :D This year, we decided to do floats - since it's been so hot! I didn't realize how much I like planning parties - I'm not that good at it, but it was a fun change! 

Ammon & I aren't the only ones in our family :) so I baked some extra cakes and put all of our names on them :) Blair and Nicole have birthday's close together, my sister-in-law Alise has one and so does our niece Laney.   It was fun to share a small part of our party with all of them :D

 this was fun! It took me FOREVER to pull this out of this air :) but it was a big hit!

Thursday, July 21, 2011


I'm not a very emotional person.  Like at all!  It used to drive Ammon crazy that I never, ever cried - he called me his "Steel heart wife".  For some weird reason I always thought showing too much emotion was some sort of weakness - but, boy, has pregnancy changed me!  I'm hoping someday I'll reread these stories and laugh - but even thinking about them either makes me cry or pisses me off!  Haha so maybe you can laugh at me for the time being ;)

Exhibit A: All I've wanted to eat lately are baked potatoes and corn on the cob.  I've lost about 12 pounds (which Dr. Ott was NOT happy about), so anything I want to eat is like life or death.  I have to have it NOW!  I was too lazy to go to the store to buy potatoes and sour cream, so I went to Wendys!  When I got home I was so excited! Then, I opened my sack and all I had was a chicken sandwich with like a pound of tomatoes on it!! I HATE TOMATOES!! So - the waterworks started and I cried for like 5 minutes.  Then after I calmed down I got so angry I started crying again - over a freakin potato.  Seriously?

Exhibit B: After the potato incident, I went to the store to stalk up on potatoes and corn.  I had like 5 things in my basket so I went to the self checkout express lane.  There were two ladies in front of me - both of them were in the 10 items or less lane, and they both had like 50 things!!  My blood seriously started boiling.  After like 6 minutes of them taking their sweet time, I lost it.  I feel so bad, but here's what I said "Excuse me, but did you know you're only supposed to have 10 items or less in this lane?"  the cute little lady who was like 65 said "Oh, deary I'm so sorry!"  She called me "deary" and I almost slapped her.   I just stared at her like she was the biggest idiot to walk the planet and tapped my foot until she left.  Once I got to my car - I felt so bad I busted up crying. 

That's all in like a 2 hour period of time... 

Did I mention I cried during Transformers III?  yeah - that was a particularly hard one to explain to Ammon.  I was sad that Dr. McDreamy was holding Sam's girlfriend hostage!! It just wasn't fair.  She's just a cute little British lady! Let her go Dr. McDreamy!!

What the heck?! Hey! Hormones - how about you take a month or so vacation so I'm not the crazy pregnant lady? Thanks - I'd really appreciate it!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Baby! 8 weeks

Everything with our little bug is going awesome!!  I kept having this horrible feeling that because I spilled the beans so early, fate would come back to teach me a lesson.  Luckily - I'm at a "milestone" as my awesome Doctor put it.  I'm eight and half weeks and our baby has quadrupled in size since our last ultrasound!!  I got to see it's teeny little legs and arms and head today!  It has a strong heart beat (last ultrasound it didn't have that strong of a heartbeat - which made MY heartbeat sky rocket).  So, everything is going good :D I'm sorry, but you'll be reading a whole lot of these boring updates - they're mainly for me and journal purposes.  But, hey - you asked to read my blog so I don't feel that bad ;) My next appointment is in a month! I'm so excited :D  I still haven't had any horrible symptoms.  I get headaches sometimes, I still have a little bit of a hard time eating, and I cry over EVERYTHING! I cried in Transformers 3 for pete's sake! I tear up at almost every song on the radio - I don't know what my deal is :D I'll take the water works over the puking any day, though :D

Thursday, July 14, 2011

the best things in life

Since we've found out we're going to be parents, Ammon and I have been talking a TON about our parents and our brothers and sisters.  It's so weird to think that WE are going to be parents and make someones brothers and sisters.... I'm still coming to terms with it - haha I've got seven months to get used to it - but I don't really know how anyone ever gets used to the idea of raising a child.  Being responsible for that little life - it's almost overwhelming.  Anyways!!  I was reading though my emails from my brother serving a mission and am kinda bored since Ammon just left for work - so you get this little post from me about how awesome my family is :D

I have the best parents on the planet.
have you ever seen better looking grandparents?
If I turn out to be HALF the mother my mom was to me, I'll be doing pretty good.  If Ammon and I can teach our children anything my dad has taught us - they'll be pretty awesome kids.  My crazy hormones are making me all emotional (which I am NOT used to), and I've starting thinking a lot about how much my parents have done for me.  I totally took them for granted before I got married - heck I still do take them for granted.  I hope I'll be able to provide my children with what my parents provided me.  They taught all of us to be strong in the gospel, learn from our mistake - but not dwell on them, try our hardest in everything we do (I wouldn't have graduated college without my dad pushing me - I'm so glad he did!).  My parents somehow instilled me and all of my brothers with confidence.  I don't even know how to teach that to someone!  We may go overboard on the cockiness sometimes, but I don't think you get a second shot at teaching confidence to your children.  I know it's helped me so much in my life to think in my head "Yeah, I'm freaking awesome, and if you don't like it - I don't need you in my life."  Moral of the story - I've got some big shoes to fill :)

I look up to my little brother.

Chase sent this for me - he knows I am ANTI whaling!  Ugh I wanted to puke!
If you know my brother Chase, you could probably add at least a paragraph about how amazing he is.  He really is one in a million.   I miss him so much. Somedays my heart just aches to talk to him and see how he is doing.  Is he happy in Korea?  Is he taking care of himself?  I get momma bear over all my brothers.  I worry that the people in Korea aren't being nice to Chase, and I want to hop on a plane and kick some trash :D  I look up to him so much.  He is so spiritual, kind-hearted, charitable, and just plain cool.  He was so excited to hear he's going to be an uncle :) I wish he would be here when I deliver.  I promised him I would try to hold baby in until he gets home... I don't think I'll last an extra two months, though :D 

I have a new best friend.


I always considered Chase to be the sibling I am closest to, but since he's left, me and the Zack have grown so close.  I forget how much Ammon reminds me of him - they are two peas in a pod :D Zack is the funniest person I know.  He can always make me laugh!  Over the past year we've learned a lot about each other.  We have so much in common! I would have NEVER known, but we are so similar sometimes it's creepy.  He is such a hard worker, and super goal oriented.  He's really shy and bashful - which only makes him more endearing.  I can't wait to see his life unfold.  He has so much potential he's already tapped into - I think he's just going to explode this year! And everyone will see how amazing Zack W. Frei is :D love you poop!

He's a big teddy bear!

All of my brothers seem all rough and tough on the outside - but they are ALL softies on the inside.  Hunter is without a doubt, the sweetest person you will ever meet.  When he found out I was pregnant and passing a kidney stone, he checked in on me almost every half hour.  Making sure I was drinking enough water and that I was comfortable.  He is always ready to help me whenever I need him - most of the time he offers when I don't need help :)  He has the funniest sense of humor - he's the spitting image of my Grandpa Frei.  He has a smile that lights up the whole room.  He reminds me a lot of me when I was younger (and when I say that, I really mean my mom always tells me that we were exactly the same :D).  Love that kid.

Mr. Prime.

THE BAD HAD!!!  I think everyone knows my youngest brother, Haden.  He might be the cutest thing to hit the planet.  Not just his super cute face, but his personality is the cutest ever.  He's a seventeen year old trapped in an eight year old's body - but he looks like a twelve year old :D  He's our BIG TOM and we all absolutely adore him.  He has Ammon's Page schedule memorized and the second Ammon leaves he is up in our apartment planning our fun weekend with me.  He's my best bud.  We have so much fun together.  I would go crazy while Ammon is out of town without Haden.  He is so witty.  He can banter with the best of them - some of the things that come out of this kids mouth, I just want to die!  I'm going to be devastated when that day comes that he grows up overnight and doesn't want to be my best friend anymore.  So I cherish these days with him so much.  He is going to be so amazing at sports in high school - he already is amazing!  I am 15 years older than him, and it's been the best 8 years of my life :D

So - those are the blessings I hold most dear :D And in seven months you'll get to hear me ramble about how amazing my baby is! haha.  When I was younger I always wanted a sister - but I wouldn't change anything.  I love all my brothers so much.  Plus, when I married into Ammon's family, I inherited 6 of the most amazing sisters to hit the planet (plus another 5 brothers :D).  I count myself pretty lucky.  When was the last time you reflected on how truly blessed you are? 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

week five - you suck

This post is mostly for me and journaling purposes - just fyi :)

My fifth week of pregnancy was bitter sweet.  On Monday we started working on our house!  We tore up all the carpet, wallpaper, padding. baseboards, tack boards - pretty much gutted the whole thing.  I didn't do very much - haha Ammon did mostly all of it :)  The air conditioner in our apartment was broken, so my parents were nice enough to let us stay in one of their extra bedrooms (thank you for going on a mission Chase and freeing up a room - because we seriously would have cooked another night in that apartment!).  Everything felt fine... until the morning came along.

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling a little weird.  I've only thrown up twice in my whole life (once in Iowa, once in Utah - I'm a dork, I know), so I didn't really know what was going on.  I was talking to Ammon and sitting up and all of a sudden my mouth started watering like crazy - like seriously I needed a towel.   I still didn't know what the heck was happening - I didn't throw up I just was like a faucet of saliva - it was crazy weird.  I was totally fine for a few more hours so Ammon went to start working on the house.  I told him I was still feeling a little weird so I opted out for the morning work session.  Good thing because about 3 minutes after he left I threw up like 3 gallons of I don't even know what.  Oh my gosh throwing up hurts!! My whole stomach was like rock solid and my face felt like it was going to explode! I couldn't go back to our apartment because it was Satan's inferno up there, so I totally invaded my parents whole life and crashed on their bed.  I thought okay, just morning sickness- I'm finally getting pregnancy symptoms, because other than some cramps I've had none!  I was a little relieved - until I threw up again, and again, and again - I seriously thought I was going to throw up our baby at some point.  Then my kidney started to hurt.  Are you freakin kidding me? Let's throw a kidney stone on top of all the fun we're already having!!  So, after my mom had to listen to me whine forever, I called my doctor when Ammon came home for lunch.  Obviously, I couldn't go get an x-ray on my kidney, so they squeezed me in for a quick kidney ultrasound.  This stone was a boulder!!  Even Dr. Ott was like "Wow.  That is a HUGE blockage - no wonder you look like you're knocking on death's door".  He thought I was having an ectopic pregnancy - but I knew it was kidney stones.  If you've had them before, there's no other pain on God's good earth that can compare.  So - they checked the old uterus to make sure everything was okay - and baby was there and well :) I cried - shocker there :).  I think Ammon had no idea what he was looking at :)

They gave me some awesome meds for nausea and pain and sent me on my way.  I took them - threw them up - then tried again and was out like a light.  I slept all day.  From like 1:30- 5, then 6-10, then 11pm-10am.  During the night I started running a really high fever.  Ammon kept waking me up so I would roll over because I was making him sweat.  I was freezing.  I wanted every single blanket on me, but Ammon kept taking them away becuase I was burning up.  I was so exhausted I didn't even think about it - I just took another pain pill to get my kidney to stop hurting and went back to sleep.

On Wednesday morning, when I woke up, Ammon was just starting at me.  He looked so worried I thought something was seriously wrong.  We had a doctor's appointment a in a few hours, but he had to go back to work.  I went to the doctor and EVERYONE there was going on about how much better I looked! I must have looked HORRIBLE The day before - because no one could get over it.  I felt a lot better, but still had a fever.  They just told me to be careful, stay hydrated, and rest.  I slept ALL DAY - AGAIN!!  and was still tired when I woke up for my photoshoot.  After my photoshoot, my fever came back, but I tylenoled the crap out of it and it broke pretty quickly. I tried to drink as much of anything I could be my hand on, but still couldn't handle food.

Thursday was better - fever's came and went and my new bestie tylenol kicked some major trash all day!  My kidney started to hurt a little bit again, but it was like that last time, too.  Still couldn't handle the food.... even water and gatorade tasted weird and I didn't want to drink anything.

Friday I felt like a million bucks again!!  For some reason drinking water makes me feel like I have a pill lodged in my throat, but other than that - good as new :)  I finally ate some food - half a sandwich (which tasted like bark and leaves) and a few Popsicles that I got about half way through and couldn't eat anymore.  I'm starting to worry about our baby haha because I have no desire to eat anything.

Saturday I felt totally 100% better.  Minus the food aversions, which are still going on.  They only thing I ate that day was a string cheese and like 40 baby carrots - I called Ammon because I was laughing so hard! Everything I smelled a carrot or ate one, it tasted JUST like a banana Creamie. Like seriously it could have been a delicious ice cream treat and I would have NEVER thought it was a vegetable  :) so that was good - and super weird :D
baby & it's heartbeat underneath :D

Thank heaven that week is over! We went to the doctor today and saw the heartbeat!!  It's so exciting! I was a little worried that the super high fever might have done something to baby, but it's a little champ already.  I'm still having some pretty gnarly food aversions - to pretty much everything that's not in liquid form - but I'm working on it!  Dr. Ott said I lost 9.5 pounds since they weighed me last Wednesday.  That freaked me out a little bit, but I'm sure when my appetite gets back I'll have no problem gaining it back :D I'm pretty sure I'll be donating my right kidney after this baby comes - no one will want it, but I can live with one good kidney right?  Because the Right kidney of Hayley Bradshaw is a little cranky brat!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

plus one

If you've seen us around lately - and we both have huge, stupid grins on our faces... it's because we're pregnant!! FINALLY!!

We've been trying for over a year... and it's been one of the most difficult trials I've ever had to go through.  I never in a million years thought I would be a person who would have fertility issues... I suppose no one ever thinks that.  But have you seen both of our families?! Kids running everywhere ;)  I didn't think we would be the ones to have problems. I know some people go much longer without getting pregnant - and I'm so grateful we didn't have to wait YEARS.  But - that blessed day has arrived where all my wishes are coming true!! My super amazing doctor - Dr. Ott - diagnosed me with PCOS in January.  I kind of figured that was what what going on in the ol uterus, because I had literally every single symptom.  Dr. Ott thinks that my PCOS was an after effect of birth control -  most women get it - mine just lasted longer than usual.  They put me on fertility medication - but nothing was working.  Finally, in June they told me that I had finally ovulated!  That's probably only happened 2 or 3 times in the last year - so it was a big deal!  My doctor and his team told me that getting pregnant on your first round of Clomid is pretty rare - well you can suck it, infertility! We got pregnant on our first round of Clomid! Hooray!

For real - I cried for about two days :D our of pure joy!!  I'm not a very emotional person.  So the past year has been, without a doubt, the most tear filled year of my life.  Every negative pregnancy test, every doctor visit, every pregnancy announcement, every baby born...  When I think back on it, it's not that I was jealous, or angry, or spiteful towards all the pregnant ladies popping up - it just made me feel like such a failure.  Like there was something so wrong with me that I wasn't ever going to get to be a mother.  It broke my heart. And it seems like, as soon as I found out we had problems, every person and their dog was pregnant.  Yeah, it's been a hard year :) But worth it!  I had taken a pregnancy test 4 days before my missed period, and it was negative.  {I'm a nervous nancy - so I couldn't wait for the first day of my missed period :)} So I was pretty sure we were going to have to wait til next month and go on another round of Clomid.  But, My mom and I went to pick up our Bountiful Baskets the morning I found out, and I saw a pregnant lady there and I got the strongest feeling I should pee on that stick again :)  *backstory time*  I've been living in the mindset that I just can't think about children and pregnancy until it happened to me.  It was too depressing and consumed my life for a while. So, when I saw the negative pregnancy test I just pushed it out of my mind *backstory over ;)*  But, that day picking up our baskets - I got that feeling one can't ignore.  So, I peed - and voila! Two lines! I almost fainted.  I'd taken probably 4 or 5 boxes - BOXES - of pregnancy tests in the last year - all negative.  So it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I'm gonna get real religious on you, so if you can't handle it, feel free to skip to the next paragraph.  I immediately dropped to me knees - in my bathroom - and prayed my little heart out.  I've never thanked the Lord so vehemently.  I was crying uncontrollably (you know - the kind where you're pretty much wailing into the air and snotting everywhere?) and trying the get my thanks out of my mouth fast enough to let my Heavenly Father know how much this new little life meant to me.  Thanks for answering our many, many prayers to start a family.  Thanks for letting me take care of one of your special souls.  I'll guard this little one with my life in every way possible. You get the gist :D p.s I have a picture of the 4 tests I took that are all positive - but I thought that would be a little weird - showing you my pee soaked preggers tests all up close a personal ;) sorry! haha

I text Ammon because I knew he was a work and wouldn't be able to answer a phone call.  I said "Go to the bathroom and call me.  It's extremely urgent."  I knew he would think it was something to do with our house - which we signed papers for 2 days later - go figure :D. I text him again a few minutes later and said "CALL ME! Incredibly urgent! can't wait!!"  So, he called me from one of his work phones. I said hello and he said "what's going on. What's wrong with the house?"  I started bawling, again, and said "I'm Pregnant!" he was totally stunned - because I'd told him I got a negative test :D he's adorable. After a quick explanation, all he could say was "wow. I've got tingles and jingles!" inside joke :D In hindsight, I probably could have done something all cute - since the next day was Father's Day - I'm still kicking myself on that one :D  the joy was just too much to hold in - so I had to tell him! I was about to explode :D

This is how I told my brothers :) I miss this kid so much! I'm so sad he won't be here to see his first niece or nephew born - so this helped him feel included a little bit :D 

I'm not very far along - only 6 weeks.  But - I was passing a kidney stone TODAY (go figure right?) so we went to the doctor to check it out via ultrasound - and they said everything with baby looks good!!  So, I couldn't wait til I was 12 weeks to blab like I was planning :D 

but - after the longest sob story you've ever heard in your life - YAY!! We're FINALLY going to be parents!! I've waited for this day since like the third week of our marriage :D I can't wait!  You'll be seeing a lot more posts from me - with lots of exclamation points  :D  Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, May 2, 2011

YAY!!!! There's no other words!!

The day has FINALLY come!!!! We bough a house (almost - we're still waiting to close)!!!! If you can't tell by all the exclamation points we are so incredibly excited!! We've been looking for a house for almost a year.  Something we could remodel and fix up, but still live in for a while.  Our criteria was pretty specific and our price range was preeety small... but our awesome Realtor, KayDee Smith, rose to the occasion and we FINALLY found the most perfect house ever for the Bradshaw fam :D It's everything we wanted!  Popcorn ceilings, pea green carpet, wall paper, a very pungent smoker scent lingering around - our dream house ;)  We seriously can't wait to start ripping things up and out and making this cute little house our home :)  And you will all be invited to the house warming party - but only if you bring us a present ;) just kidding :D  We wanted to keep a record or everything we're doing to our house - so we started a separate blog :) you can see all things house at :) YAY!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

What the What?!

It's February already? Seriously?  Where did 2010 go? Like really... is it just me, or did it go by unbelievably fast?  Our lives are pretty low key - so I hardly ever update our blog, but here's what's been going on lately.

Ammon and his brothers are obsessed with mountain biking.  Not the "pansy down hill stroll" kind of mountain biking, as my eloquent husband would say.  He shows me some of the stuff they jump and just looking at it make my heart beat twice as fast...  I don't know how he gets the nerve to ride as fast as he can down a mountain and launch himself 20 feet into the air...? It must be a guy thing haha - I surely do not get it!

Yeah... not happy about this one :) But hey, apparently everyone wants to jump over a 40 foot crevice!  
Ammon was not happy that I "grafitied" his picture, so here is the picture without my attempt to truly who you how wide that gap is! You can click on it if you want the full effect :)

He is crazy :) Ammon is still working in Page at the Dam in Lake Powell.  Can you see it in the distance in that picture just above?  We had a pretty crazy week where we drove up to a wedding reception on Tuesday night, the drove all night long to Page and stayed for a few days while Ammon had to work.  I can't believe I EVER thought I could live there ;) Oh, man that place is depressing during the winter!!

Our precious niece Arianna passed away after battling a brutal form of cancer called LCH.  It's moments like that where ones life really gets put into perspective.  Watching our family rise up and support each other through that time was so amazing.  Ammon's sister, Haley, is so strong and really one of the most amazing women out there.  You can read Ari's story at  her blog.  It was so heart wrenching to watch her and her family struggle through cancer, but knowing that she is with our Father in Heaven is such a relief.  I can't imagine how hard losing a love one would be if we didn't have the gospel in our lives and knowing that we will be with our families in the next life.  The past year we have both had our testimonies of eternal families, the plan of salvation, and our Heavenly Father's love for us strengthened. 

the most beautiful little girl ever.  You were too precious for our world, Ari.

Elder Chase has been on his mission for 8 months!! I can't believe that went to fast.  Pretty soon he'll be at his year mark, then he'll be home in no time!  Really... where does the time go?  haha I sound like an old lady ;)

Seriously miss this kid so much.

can you pick Chase out?  He doesn't stand a head taller than everyone else or anything ;)
I was lucky enough to photograph the Snow Canyon Eshelles again - and seriously, I can't get enough of them.  I'm pretty sure I have a girl crush on every single one of them!  I have picked out 16 girls that Zack is allowed to marry (all of them on this team... ;D).  But there are 17 of them you say? Well, one of them is already taken ;) You know who you are! haha

pretty sure I would sell my soul for any one of their bodies or faces ;)
Anyways! So, that's what's been going on in the very low key lives of Ammon and Hayley :) I wish I had some cool, big news to share will you guys (all 41 of you ;D)!  But, hopefully this will hold you over until something cool happens, I would hold your breath though ;)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I've been featured!!!!

I received an email the other day informing me that I would be a featured photographer for Colorinc's picture of the day!  I normally don't get all flushed and proud, but I'm so happy! Mentoring with Errin really paid off!! Check it out!

Hayley Bradshaw Photography - Pic of the Day