Thursday, July 21, 2011


I'm not a very emotional person.  Like at all!  It used to drive Ammon crazy that I never, ever cried - he called me his "Steel heart wife".  For some weird reason I always thought showing too much emotion was some sort of weakness - but, boy, has pregnancy changed me!  I'm hoping someday I'll reread these stories and laugh - but even thinking about them either makes me cry or pisses me off!  Haha so maybe you can laugh at me for the time being ;)

Exhibit A: All I've wanted to eat lately are baked potatoes and corn on the cob.  I've lost about 12 pounds (which Dr. Ott was NOT happy about), so anything I want to eat is like life or death.  I have to have it NOW!  I was too lazy to go to the store to buy potatoes and sour cream, so I went to Wendys!  When I got home I was so excited! Then, I opened my sack and all I had was a chicken sandwich with like a pound of tomatoes on it!! I HATE TOMATOES!! So - the waterworks started and I cried for like 5 minutes.  Then after I calmed down I got so angry I started crying again - over a freakin potato.  Seriously?

Exhibit B: After the potato incident, I went to the store to stalk up on potatoes and corn.  I had like 5 things in my basket so I went to the self checkout express lane.  There were two ladies in front of me - both of them were in the 10 items or less lane, and they both had like 50 things!!  My blood seriously started boiling.  After like 6 minutes of them taking their sweet time, I lost it.  I feel so bad, but here's what I said "Excuse me, but did you know you're only supposed to have 10 items or less in this lane?"  the cute little lady who was like 65 said "Oh, deary I'm so sorry!"  She called me "deary" and I almost slapped her.   I just stared at her like she was the biggest idiot to walk the planet and tapped my foot until she left.  Once I got to my car - I felt so bad I busted up crying. 

That's all in like a 2 hour period of time... 

Did I mention I cried during Transformers III?  yeah - that was a particularly hard one to explain to Ammon.  I was sad that Dr. McDreamy was holding Sam's girlfriend hostage!! It just wasn't fair.  She's just a cute little British lady! Let her go Dr. McDreamy!!

What the heck?! Hey! Hormones - how about you take a month or so vacation so I'm not the crazy pregnant lady? Thanks - I'd really appreciate it!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Baby! 8 weeks

Everything with our little bug is going awesome!!  I kept having this horrible feeling that because I spilled the beans so early, fate would come back to teach me a lesson.  Luckily - I'm at a "milestone" as my awesome Doctor put it.  I'm eight and half weeks and our baby has quadrupled in size since our last ultrasound!!  I got to see it's teeny little legs and arms and head today!  It has a strong heart beat (last ultrasound it didn't have that strong of a heartbeat - which made MY heartbeat sky rocket).  So, everything is going good :D I'm sorry, but you'll be reading a whole lot of these boring updates - they're mainly for me and journal purposes.  But, hey - you asked to read my blog so I don't feel that bad ;) My next appointment is in a month! I'm so excited :D  I still haven't had any horrible symptoms.  I get headaches sometimes, I still have a little bit of a hard time eating, and I cry over EVERYTHING! I cried in Transformers 3 for pete's sake! I tear up at almost every song on the radio - I don't know what my deal is :D I'll take the water works over the puking any day, though :D

Thursday, July 14, 2011

the best things in life

Since we've found out we're going to be parents, Ammon and I have been talking a TON about our parents and our brothers and sisters.  It's so weird to think that WE are going to be parents and make someones brothers and sisters.... I'm still coming to terms with it - haha I've got seven months to get used to it - but I don't really know how anyone ever gets used to the idea of raising a child.  Being responsible for that little life - it's almost overwhelming.  Anyways!!  I was reading though my emails from my brother serving a mission and am kinda bored since Ammon just left for work - so you get this little post from me about how awesome my family is :D

I have the best parents on the planet.
have you ever seen better looking grandparents?
If I turn out to be HALF the mother my mom was to me, I'll be doing pretty good.  If Ammon and I can teach our children anything my dad has taught us - they'll be pretty awesome kids.  My crazy hormones are making me all emotional (which I am NOT used to), and I've starting thinking a lot about how much my parents have done for me.  I totally took them for granted before I got married - heck I still do take them for granted.  I hope I'll be able to provide my children with what my parents provided me.  They taught all of us to be strong in the gospel, learn from our mistake - but not dwell on them, try our hardest in everything we do (I wouldn't have graduated college without my dad pushing me - I'm so glad he did!).  My parents somehow instilled me and all of my brothers with confidence.  I don't even know how to teach that to someone!  We may go overboard on the cockiness sometimes, but I don't think you get a second shot at teaching confidence to your children.  I know it's helped me so much in my life to think in my head "Yeah, I'm freaking awesome, and if you don't like it - I don't need you in my life."  Moral of the story - I've got some big shoes to fill :)

I look up to my little brother.

Chase sent this for me - he knows I am ANTI whaling!  Ugh I wanted to puke!
If you know my brother Chase, you could probably add at least a paragraph about how amazing he is.  He really is one in a million.   I miss him so much. Somedays my heart just aches to talk to him and see how he is doing.  Is he happy in Korea?  Is he taking care of himself?  I get momma bear over all my brothers.  I worry that the people in Korea aren't being nice to Chase, and I want to hop on a plane and kick some trash :D  I look up to him so much.  He is so spiritual, kind-hearted, charitable, and just plain cool.  He was so excited to hear he's going to be an uncle :) I wish he would be here when I deliver.  I promised him I would try to hold baby in until he gets home... I don't think I'll last an extra two months, though :D 

I have a new best friend.


I always considered Chase to be the sibling I am closest to, but since he's left, me and the Zack have grown so close.  I forget how much Ammon reminds me of him - they are two peas in a pod :D Zack is the funniest person I know.  He can always make me laugh!  Over the past year we've learned a lot about each other.  We have so much in common! I would have NEVER known, but we are so similar sometimes it's creepy.  He is such a hard worker, and super goal oriented.  He's really shy and bashful - which only makes him more endearing.  I can't wait to see his life unfold.  He has so much potential he's already tapped into - I think he's just going to explode this year! And everyone will see how amazing Zack W. Frei is :D love you poop!

He's a big teddy bear!

All of my brothers seem all rough and tough on the outside - but they are ALL softies on the inside.  Hunter is without a doubt, the sweetest person you will ever meet.  When he found out I was pregnant and passing a kidney stone, he checked in on me almost every half hour.  Making sure I was drinking enough water and that I was comfortable.  He is always ready to help me whenever I need him - most of the time he offers when I don't need help :)  He has the funniest sense of humor - he's the spitting image of my Grandpa Frei.  He has a smile that lights up the whole room.  He reminds me a lot of me when I was younger (and when I say that, I really mean my mom always tells me that we were exactly the same :D).  Love that kid.

Mr. Prime.

THE BAD HAD!!!  I think everyone knows my youngest brother, Haden.  He might be the cutest thing to hit the planet.  Not just his super cute face, but his personality is the cutest ever.  He's a seventeen year old trapped in an eight year old's body - but he looks like a twelve year old :D  He's our BIG TOM and we all absolutely adore him.  He has Ammon's Page schedule memorized and the second Ammon leaves he is up in our apartment planning our fun weekend with me.  He's my best bud.  We have so much fun together.  I would go crazy while Ammon is out of town without Haden.  He is so witty.  He can banter with the best of them - some of the things that come out of this kids mouth, I just want to die!  I'm going to be devastated when that day comes that he grows up overnight and doesn't want to be my best friend anymore.  So I cherish these days with him so much.  He is going to be so amazing at sports in high school - he already is amazing!  I am 15 years older than him, and it's been the best 8 years of my life :D

So - those are the blessings I hold most dear :D And in seven months you'll get to hear me ramble about how amazing my baby is! haha.  When I was younger I always wanted a sister - but I wouldn't change anything.  I love all my brothers so much.  Plus, when I married into Ammon's family, I inherited 6 of the most amazing sisters to hit the planet (plus another 5 brothers :D).  I count myself pretty lucky.  When was the last time you reflected on how truly blessed you are? 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

week five - you suck

This post is mostly for me and journaling purposes - just fyi :)

My fifth week of pregnancy was bitter sweet.  On Monday we started working on our house!  We tore up all the carpet, wallpaper, padding. baseboards, tack boards - pretty much gutted the whole thing.  I didn't do very much - haha Ammon did mostly all of it :)  The air conditioner in our apartment was broken, so my parents were nice enough to let us stay in one of their extra bedrooms (thank you for going on a mission Chase and freeing up a room - because we seriously would have cooked another night in that apartment!).  Everything felt fine... until the morning came along.

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling a little weird.  I've only thrown up twice in my whole life (once in Iowa, once in Utah - I'm a dork, I know), so I didn't really know what was going on.  I was talking to Ammon and sitting up and all of a sudden my mouth started watering like crazy - like seriously I needed a towel.   I still didn't know what the heck was happening - I didn't throw up I just was like a faucet of saliva - it was crazy weird.  I was totally fine for a few more hours so Ammon went to start working on the house.  I told him I was still feeling a little weird so I opted out for the morning work session.  Good thing because about 3 minutes after he left I threw up like 3 gallons of I don't even know what.  Oh my gosh throwing up hurts!! My whole stomach was like rock solid and my face felt like it was going to explode! I couldn't go back to our apartment because it was Satan's inferno up there, so I totally invaded my parents whole life and crashed on their bed.  I thought okay, just morning sickness- I'm finally getting pregnancy symptoms, because other than some cramps I've had none!  I was a little relieved - until I threw up again, and again, and again - I seriously thought I was going to throw up our baby at some point.  Then my kidney started to hurt.  Are you freakin kidding me? Let's throw a kidney stone on top of all the fun we're already having!!  So, after my mom had to listen to me whine forever, I called my doctor when Ammon came home for lunch.  Obviously, I couldn't go get an x-ray on my kidney, so they squeezed me in for a quick kidney ultrasound.  This stone was a boulder!!  Even Dr. Ott was like "Wow.  That is a HUGE blockage - no wonder you look like you're knocking on death's door".  He thought I was having an ectopic pregnancy - but I knew it was kidney stones.  If you've had them before, there's no other pain on God's good earth that can compare.  So - they checked the old uterus to make sure everything was okay - and baby was there and well :) I cried - shocker there :).  I think Ammon had no idea what he was looking at :)

They gave me some awesome meds for nausea and pain and sent me on my way.  I took them - threw them up - then tried again and was out like a light.  I slept all day.  From like 1:30- 5, then 6-10, then 11pm-10am.  During the night I started running a really high fever.  Ammon kept waking me up so I would roll over because I was making him sweat.  I was freezing.  I wanted every single blanket on me, but Ammon kept taking them away becuase I was burning up.  I was so exhausted I didn't even think about it - I just took another pain pill to get my kidney to stop hurting and went back to sleep.

On Wednesday morning, when I woke up, Ammon was just starting at me.  He looked so worried I thought something was seriously wrong.  We had a doctor's appointment a in a few hours, but he had to go back to work.  I went to the doctor and EVERYONE there was going on about how much better I looked! I must have looked HORRIBLE The day before - because no one could get over it.  I felt a lot better, but still had a fever.  They just told me to be careful, stay hydrated, and rest.  I slept ALL DAY - AGAIN!!  and was still tired when I woke up for my photoshoot.  After my photoshoot, my fever came back, but I tylenoled the crap out of it and it broke pretty quickly. I tried to drink as much of anything I could be my hand on, but still couldn't handle food.

Thursday was better - fever's came and went and my new bestie tylenol kicked some major trash all day!  My kidney started to hurt a little bit again, but it was like that last time, too.  Still couldn't handle the food.... even water and gatorade tasted weird and I didn't want to drink anything.

Friday I felt like a million bucks again!!  For some reason drinking water makes me feel like I have a pill lodged in my throat, but other than that - good as new :)  I finally ate some food - half a sandwich (which tasted like bark and leaves) and a few Popsicles that I got about half way through and couldn't eat anymore.  I'm starting to worry about our baby haha because I have no desire to eat anything.

Saturday I felt totally 100% better.  Minus the food aversions, which are still going on.  They only thing I ate that day was a string cheese and like 40 baby carrots - I called Ammon because I was laughing so hard! Everything I smelled a carrot or ate one, it tasted JUST like a banana Creamie. Like seriously it could have been a delicious ice cream treat and I would have NEVER thought it was a vegetable  :) so that was good - and super weird :D
baby & it's heartbeat underneath :D

Thank heaven that week is over! We went to the doctor today and saw the heartbeat!!  It's so exciting! I was a little worried that the super high fever might have done something to baby, but it's a little champ already.  I'm still having some pretty gnarly food aversions - to pretty much everything that's not in liquid form - but I'm working on it!  Dr. Ott said I lost 9.5 pounds since they weighed me last Wednesday.  That freaked me out a little bit, but I'm sure when my appetite gets back I'll have no problem gaining it back :D I'm pretty sure I'll be donating my right kidney after this baby comes - no one will want it, but I can live with one good kidney right?  Because the Right kidney of Hayley Bradshaw is a little cranky brat!