Monday, December 19, 2011

Man Power!!

Hello friends!! I am in the most chipper mood EVER because I am FINALLY starting to feel like a normal human being again!!! It's such a nice change from the sloth-like creature I've been the last 6 months.  Last doctor's visit I told them I could not get over my nausea and vomiting - to the point that I wouldn't eat or drink anything because I didn't want to puke my guts up - then I'd end up throwing up bile all day.  So, they told me to switch my pills to the pm, which did absolutely nothing.  If anything it got worse! I would cry every morning I woke up feeling like poop again.  So, I finally came to my senses and asked Ammon to give me a blessing.  *if you're not into this religious stuff, skip on down :)*

I know, for me, I take the priesthood for granted.  I've been surrounded by men my whole life.  It's always been just me, my mom and the boys.  They've always been there whenever I've needed them to lift heavy stuff and do man things.  I think one down side to being the only girl is that I think I have to do everything myself.  I hate making people feel like they need to help me - I can do it myself, dang it!!  I guess it's only sister syndrome?  I hate feeling like the damsel in distress.  I was talking to Ammon the night before he had to go back to work about how depressed I was getting that I had 9 more weeks of pregnancy left.  I was almost in tears just talking about dealing with my symptoms for another 2 months.  I'm one of the least emotional people you'll ever meet - and Ammon had this look on his face like I was about to shatter. He gave me a hug and said "I'm so sorry I've been gone for all of this.  I wish you would let me help you."

It's a rough business having a husband that works out of the state 4-5 days a week.  Especially being pregnant with our first child! He's missed almost everything.  The first time I felt the baby move, the first time I could see him kicking from the outside.  He was gone when I found out the gender.  It's been rough!!  Ammon always knows EXACTLY what to say - it really is a gift.  He said "I wish you would let me help you" - and it hit me.  Why the heck haven't I asked him for a blessing yet?!

I've been reverting back to my only sister syndrome.  He's gone so much that I feel like I have to do everything alone.  And a lot of the time, I do.  So, I suppose it's a blessing and a curse.  But, I asked him for a blessing and he gave me one.  After he was done I couldn't believe that it hadn't even crossed my mind to ask ANY of the awesome men in my life for a blessing - I'm literally surrounded my them.  My dad is down the stairs, my bishop is across the backyard, my cousin Blair is a around the corner.  Why didn't this occur to me sooner that the answer to my problems was, once again, to give my issues to the Lord and let him handle it for me?

Going through infertility taught Ammon and me a lot.  It was the biggest learning experience I've ever had in my life - and my marriage.  The number one thing I walked away with from struggling with infertility was to trust in the Lord.  With all my crazy hormones and the feeling like "well, I'm alone, so I better deal with all of this alone" was making me shoulder out the two people who could help me the most.  My husband and my Heavenly Father.

So, long story not so short, I'm feeling a million times better.  I wake up feeling like I've actually rested.  I always wake up dying of thirst - but drinking water used to make me vomit my life away.  Now I can wake up, drink like 2 liters of water, eat some cereal and get on with my day.  I feel so much better.  I know that life is a long learning process.  In the last year I've learned so much about what the man upstairs can do for me.  He can literally take ALL my problems away, and all I have to do is ask.  I never understood humility until this week.  I'm a strong willed person.  Super stubborn.  Finally realizing all I had to do was ask - just suck it up, stop thinking I have to bear the world on only my shoulders, and ask for help.  It's been awesome.

So - that's my story this week :)  I've had quite the colorful year!  My next appointment is when I start getting checked every two weeks! So, expect another load of pictures and hopefully some good news about when our little guy is going to show up!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

7 months!!

I can't believe how fast the weeks are going by.  I kept thinking in my head - Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Shower, Baby.  I've only got two of those left!! I guess it's good that it feels like it's going fast - but it's almost coming too fast!!  I'm going to have a baby soon! AHHH!!! I can't wait - but I could a little bit longer ;)

Today at the doctor I took the infamous glucose test!  Gestational diabetes has been my biggest fear.  I don't know why - maybe all the crap I learned in school about diabetes has me permanently scared crapless about ever being diagnosed with it.  I don't know why everyone makes a big deal about it. I thought for sure it would be the most disgusting thing I'd ever ingest.  It wasn't bad at all.  It was actually kind of good :) haha.  I should find out soon if I have GD or not. Cross your fingers for me!

The past few weeks I've been feeling like the nausea wave washed over me and I have yet to resurface.  It was getting so bad that I would stay up all night tossing and turning, because I knew that when I woke up I'd feel like crap.  I would start to feel better around 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and sometimes I would throw up 3 or 4 times a day.  So, I quit eating like I usually would.  I stopped taking my prenatals in the morning (which helped a little bit).  I never wanted to eat or sleep or drink anything - because throwing up is freaking painful!!  I don't know why it hurts me so bad, but I start vomiting, my stomach is clenching so hard that I pee my pants, then I cry for like 10 minutes - then the rest of the day I feel horrible and just want to lay in bed.  So, after 22+ weeks of this nonsense, I talked to my Dr. about it and he came up with a new plan.  Pills at night.  Duh. haha I probably wouldn't have come up with that plan on my own - I'm a sucker for routines.  I've been taking prenatals for over 2 years - always in the morning.  I hate changing my routine! I'll do it happily for no more puking.  I'm down another 7 pounds, so something's got to change!

OH! On top of all of that :)  I had to get the RhoGAM shot.  I always thought I was AB+ for some reason? Turns out I am O- haha.  So is Ammon.  But, since he never got a physical before we started trying to get pregnant (which I highly recommend), there was no medical documentation of Ammon's blood type - so better safe than sorry = RhoGAM shot.   When I told my mom she started laughing and said "Really? Is it possible for you to get EVERYTHING wrong?"  Yes, mom.  It's me we're talking about :)

80 days until my due date!! It's coming so fast!!

woo! Big mama in the house :) NOW I look 7.5 months pregnant!